Grey's Anatomy = The Superdrug

I think I've mentioned before that I think that TV is a lot like a drug. Now I finally have proof. The other night, I was attempting to study with a friend in the Honors College basement, which just happens to have a TV in it. Before my friend arrived, I was sitting at a table, attempting to read my physics book (which, in itself, is quite a fruitless endeavour), when a girl magically appears on the couch in front of the TV. I think as I grow older my ability to observe important things, like people being in a room, is slowly escaping me. Anyhow, she says to me, "Is the TV going to bother you studying?" Of course I said no, despite the fact that it probably would, just because I'm a nice guy and I like to avoid conflict like that. Unfortunately, conflict still managed to rear its ugly head. She followed up on her previous statement with a tart, "Good, because I'm not turning off my Grey's for anybody!"

Two things greatly disturb me about this. Number one, of course, is the fact that this girl needed to watch a TV show so badly that she was willing to risk her being a decent human being. This is akin to a crackhead killing the dealer if he doesn't have the money to pay for his stuff. There should seriously be treament options for TV addicts like this. We could start with a patch, then move on to some gum, maybe even drugs you can inject to cure yourself. There could be a lot of money in this...

The second thing that bothers me is that this show has reached the point where it can be referred to as a slang term. Apparently it's too difficult to say "Grey's Anatomy" in it's entirety, so the girl referred to it not only as a singular term, but also as if she owned it! Another classic symptom of addiction, if you ask me. Cocaine has a lot of slang terms associated with it too, you know.

We need to figure out a way to supplant this massive epidemic known as network television. TV has had its time in the sun, which means it's time for a new medium. What if there was a way to use this wonderful internet to amuse one's self for hours? But wait, there is! Youtube.com is the answer to everything. Watching somebody suckerpunch one of their buddies is infinitely more entertaining than a stupid love triangle/quadrangle/whatever the hell goes on in that show. Even better, Youtube is totally legit now in America's eyes, after its big merger with Google. No company is truly American until it merges with another corporation and folks start getting canned. Cut the wheat, I say. Or is it the chaff? Oh well: when in Rome...