5 Days of Pure Fun

It's official: I have now officially sat at home for 5 straight days. Okay, technically it's 5 nights, but that's the real point anyway. If it wasn't for basketball on TV, I would likely have gone insane by now, but instead I'm just incredibly bored. There have at least been some incredible basketball games on, with Boston College-Villanova at the forefront in my mind. It's amusing to hear how many ways the announcers can refer to the ball. I heard one say that a team needed to do a better job of "squeezing the orange" tonight, and it took me a good five minutes to figure out that he was referring to holding onto the ball. These guys are brilliant. I also got to see Greg Gumbel rip on Clark Kellogg not once, but twice, for saying that a team had not "shotten" the ball well. It's not uncommon for guys to rip on their buddies in front of each other, but on national TV? That takes some serious testicular fortitude.

A friend and I went for a basketball tune-up at our local gym today, and for once the public facility was actually open to the public. I find it maddening that the place closes every day at 3 o'clock, precisely the time we get out of school. Usually, even when they are open they have some stupid garbage going on there like dog shows. I just love how public facilities are always open to the public. On an equally unexciting note, my body's exercise age is still hovering strong at 54. Now my back has gotten in on the action with my legs. I can only hope that I will somehow miraculously develop both endurance and an immunity to pain before intramurals start.

There are many reasons why I like to make fun of south Alabama. Mostly it's because I live in Alabama to begin with, and everybody needs somebody to make fun of (although Mississippi does a good job of filling that void most of the time.) However, this video just confirms all of my negative stereotypes about our neighbors to the south. These morons apparently think that there is a leprechaun in their town. I have a problem with this. A leprechaun would never come to Alabama, possibly the least friendly place on earth for short Irish people with red hair. If I was a leprechaun, I would probably go somewhere like Notre Dame, or, duh, Ireland. Unless the leprechauns are really just trying to take over the world by planting themselves in rural southern towns. Yeah, that sounds reasonable enough. Did I mention that leprechauns also DON'T EXIST??? I tend to agree with the wise old woman in the video, that the leprechaun is in fact just a crackhead.

Well, I'm about to go to sleep at 11:00 on a Friday night. This is a frightening and new experience for me. I hope I never have to do it again...