The Game of Life

The streak had to end at some point. Last night, for the first time in a good work-week, I did something other than sit at home. I had 3 of my compatriots over for cards and general revelry last night. So, technically, I didn't leave the house, but I did engage in activity. So I think it's fair to say that the streak is really over. Plus, I don't really care about the streak anyway. Records are lame and are just made to be broken anyway.

I think it's fair for me to introduce the cast of characters first. Of course you've got me, the high school guy who has a bunch of college friends, and has a goatee. That's basically all you need to know. Stephen arrived next, and he's your typical short guy, which basically means that he can't ride as many carnival rides as us normal folks. Tom and Zach got lost on the way to my house, and were arguing like an old married couple while I tried to give them directions over the phone. This is amusing because they actually are roommates, and also because I'm going to live with them next year. The good news is that three people can't be married, so I think I'm safe.

After a quick game of Spades in which Tom and I got served, we decided on a whim to play the game of Life. This game hadn't been pulled out of it's box since at least 1998, only 13 years after it's original date of manufacture! I discovered that Life is perhaps the most ironic game on the face of the Earth. Tom and I ended up with careers as journalists, earning a mediocre salary and sleeping in the backs of cars. We still fared better than Zach, who got one of those "liberal arts degrees" and Stephen, who was working at McDonald's. All went for the best, though, as Tom and I quickly inherited money and/or discovered uranium. Stephen was living the hard life with his limited salary and propensity for buying horses and houses and whatnot. Stephen discovered that one could gamble on the spinning of the wheel, and quickly became an addict. He piled up a huge debt but somehow managed to pay it all off, possibly through prostitution. Zach was the enigma, somehow not making money and landing on all of the "pay" spaces, yet he managed to stay out of debt.

I thought I had a great chance to win, but then I realized that kids were worth money and that I was shooting blanks. I still amassed a net worth of 2.4 million, only to succomb to Tom's 2.5 million. Unfortunately, Zach managed to beat us all when he went for broke and bet it all on a number. I'm still not sure how he won.

So what does this game say about society? First off, if you want to get rich, journalism is totally the way to go. Also, it doesn't hurt to discover uranium. Secondly, poor people (i.e. Stephen) really do have gambling problems and just generally suck at managing money. However, the most important lesson is that the middle class guy with 4 bosses (Zach) will somehow kick the crap out of all of us someday. I haven't gotten to that part in my life yet, so it's difficult to predict how that's all going to play out.

You can call us losers if you want, but the game of Life is definitely going down with us to Auburn next year, so that we can crush the dreams of as many of our friends as humanly possible!