Band Team = Almost Respectable

Ladies and gentlemen, my brief career as a member of the band intramural team has drawn to a close. I know this is disappointing, and that you all feel like I still had so much to give. However, I learned an important lesson from Michael Jordan, and that is that you should retire when you're on top. Since that isn't an option for me, I'm just going to retire when I'm farthest from the bottom.

The band team's tour de force performance this morning was one that will surely go down in history. We only lost by four points, and led for a good portion of the game. If we could have figured out how to strategically foul at the end of the game we might have won. It's of no consequence really. We proved our point: that we could hang with actual athletes. I'm figuring that Disney will be calling about the movie rights by the end of the week.

Even more exciting to me, however, is the fact that I finally perfected the ghetto shower today. In its infinite cheapness, Decatur High neglected to build showers in the locker rooms, thus trying to get clean after intramurals has been a real joke. I'm no stranger to bathroom complaints (i.e. lack of paper towels), but I'd be lying if I said that I'd lost sleep over this. Yeah, re-read that one again. Anyway, my compatriots and I had developed a method of cleaning involving paper towels and the bathroom sinks that was mildly effective and made me pine for those middle school PE days all over again. Unfortunately, recycled paper towels generally suck at moisture absorption. I busted out the Ghetto Shower 2.0 today. Armed with 2 washclothes and liquid soap I kept it real on my upper body. Unfortunately, all I have to show for it is the herpes from that nasty sink.

I've found yet another website of a Myspace hater. You can view it here. The ironic thing to me is that this guy who claims to be too good for Myspace obviously spent a good deal of time debunking it. Many of this guy's points are true, but he is obviously a closet goth (did I just invent that?) Upon further review of this guy's Myspace profile it is evident to me that this guy has absolutely no right to make fun of ANYBODY. First of all, he's from California and goes to school at this place called Vassar College. That's two strikes right there. Strikes 3-12 are all from one fatal mistake. Go look at the rest of this joker's pictures and check out number two. I don't even need to say anything else.