Six Flagsploitation

The physics team, in all of our oh-so-lovable nerdliness, traveled to Six Flags in Atlanta on Friday for "Physics Day." Okay, so it wasn't actually physics day, but we had something important to do at school (intramurals baby) on the actual day, so we had to make up our own. That's just the American way.

I have to say that if some strange alien race came to observe our society, the first place I would take them would be an amusement park, because these places show exactly how our society works.

Marketing is the name of the game at an amusement park, and these guys are simply brilliant. They've now had the foresight to build concession stands in the middle of lines for rides. Unfortunately, the cheapest item for purchase is a 99 cent "cup of cheese," because there really is nothing better for quenching your undying thirst than 3 ounces worth of nachotastic goodness. While we were standing in line, we realized that the roller coaster has to be considered man's greatest achievement. The fact that we have built a machine solely to scare the piss out of ourselves, and that we pay millions of dollars collectively each year to ride it, just speaks volumes about how dumb we really are.

I paid 13 dollars for my lunch. Just re-reading that sentence makes me want to throw-up (which I surprisingly did not do even after riding 6 rides). It was barbecue and it was decent, but it was not worth 13 dollars. This would be an excellent example of a monopoly for our alien visitors, in order that they might prepare themselves for the next time they are forced into upgrading their Windows operating system.

While standing in line for the Batman ride, we experienced what millions of livestock around the world experience near the end of their lives. There must have been at least 500 people crammed into a building, with narrow stalls defining the walking paths. You would have to feel sorry for people subjected to this, except for the fact that we all chose to be there. After seeing this, our alien friends would likely consider us idiots and an easy target for their impending takeover. Still, despite all of this and the fact that water cost 3 frigging dollars, I still enjoyed myself. My logic has officially surrendered.

I found this video a while back at poker night, but never got around to posting it on here. I'm not sure if any of you are familiar with the Isuzu Gemini, a 1980s era crapmobile, but this incredible montage of commercials will make you want one. I'm not kidding. Isuzu Gemini > Your Geo Metro