Sympathy

I try to be an objective person. I pride myself on not really showing a whole lot of emotion, instead thinking about stuff logically. Unfortunately, I've had a lot of free time lately, which means I've been watching TV. I watched about 4 straight hours of Law and Order: SVU last night. Apparently I'm the last person on Earth to discover this show. Let me preface all of this by saying that I rarely watch TV, and if I do, it's mostly to watch things like the Colbert Report, so that I can have my cynisarcasm container (my brain) refilled. Unfortunately, while watching Law and Order I actually felt myself becoming emotionally involved with the characters. At one point I found myself talking out loud to the bad guy and telling him how much of a person born from unwed parentage he was. That was simply unacceptable.

I've always laughed at folks who are enslaved by the TV. Apparently there is this show called "The OC" that has roughly the same chemical composition as crack cocaine. I've never watched it, because I don't want it to be my gateway drug. Anyhow, people talk about these characters as if they are real people that they actually know. That's kinda disturbing to me. I mean, sometimes I like to talk about Coach Mose and his wisdom, but he's a real guy. In fact, he's more than a real guy, he's a legend. But I digress. I tried everything to get my feelings of sympathy to go away. I took a 15 minute bathroom break. I scavenged some month old tortilla chips from the pantry. I even tried to recite sexist Anchorman quotes. Nothing worked. I guess I might have a heart after all. We can't all be perfect.

I've been introduced to a couple of web wonders lately. First off, we all know that Chuck Norris is the man. Maybe not as much as Coach Mose, but pretty darn close. This site (refresh to continue enjoyment) is a collection of known facts about the man, the machine, the Texas Ranger. Just remember, as a friend of mine, John Paul, said, "Chuck Norris doesn't kill you. He kills your family. You kill yourself." That pretty much sums it up. Strangely enough, my sister sent me an email that contained this link. Apparently these are PTA moms that got out of control. Why wasn't open house ever like this at my schools?